Don Shriver was an important force in the founding of Good Wolf and an inspirational advisor up through his final days.
Donald Shriver, President Emeritus of Union Theological Seminary and founding member of the Good Wolf Board of Advisors, died on July 28, 2021, at the age of 93.
An ordained Presbyterian minister, internationally renowned ethicist, and member of the U.S. Council on Foreign Relations, Don taught ethics at Union Theological Seminary, Columbia University, Jewish Theological Seminary, and Emory University, authored 13 books, and was a fierce and effective advocate for civil rights. He received honorary doctorates from more than 10 colleges, universities, and seminaries for his ground-breaking scholarship and leadership. In 2009, he was awarded the Grawemeyer Award in Religion for his 2005 magnum opus, “Honest Patriots: Loving a Country Enough to Remember its Misdeeds.”
Peggy Ann Leu Shriver
Peggy Ann Leu Shriver, Don’s best friend and wife of 67 years, followed him in death several months later. Peggy was a force in her own right. A published poet, Peggy served as Assistant General Secretary of the National Council of Churches, where she helped shape the broader church’s stance on issues ranging from the Vietnam War to economic and environmental justice. Peggy and Don were partners in every aspect of their lives. They were preceded in death by their son, Gregory, and are survived by their children, Lionel and Timothy.
My first encounter with Don and Peggy came shortly after my friend Clarence Anderson announced, “There’s somebody who wants to meet you.” Don and Peggy, longtime champions of restorative justice, had heard about the Coming Home Program, founded through the Prison Ministry at Riverside Church of New York in collaboration with Fordham University, and which I led at the time. The Coming Home Program was designed as a healing community where women and men re-entering their communities after often lengthy periods of incarceration could come together to support one another, grow, reintegrate with families, and move on with their lives. Don and Peggy felt they needed to be part of it.
My wife Nanette and I met Don and Peggy in the spring of 2010 for a get-to-know-you lunch at Ollie’s, their favorite Chinese Restaurant, on the corner of 116th and Broadway, just across from the main gates of Columbia University.
A rich and rewarding friendship
Sometime during lunch, I asked Don’s opinion of one of my cultural hypotheses: “When we deny unpleasant realities about our collective history, does it make us vulnerable to denying other realities as well, weakening our society as a result?”
Don’s reply? “I’ve written a couple of books about that.”
At that moment, I realized that our relationship with this extraordinary couple was going to be rich, deep, and intellectually demanding.
The years between then and Don’s death and, shortly thereafter, Peggy’s death, sped by too quickly. But in that too-short-a-time, Don and Peggy Shriver became our dear friends, whom we grew to love deeply. And Don became a major influence and mentor in my life.
“The Coming Home Program was designed as a healing community where women and men re-entering their communities after often lengthy periods of incarceration could come together to support one another, grow, reintegrate with families, and move on with their lives. Don and Peggy felt they needed to be part of it.”
During that time, Don and Peggy suffered major health challenges, which they fought courageously and bore with grace and dignity. In the final six years, they were supported by the care and love of their friend, Brenda Braithwaite. Through it all, we witnessed their inspiring love for each other.
Don was not shy about asking hard questions
In the interstices, Don and Peggy became co-chairs of the Coming Home Program Advisory Board, we experienced the joy of Peggy reading her magnificent poetry at our holiday dinner tables to spellbound children and adults, we sailed together on Long Island Sound, and we enjoyed several years of regular “Shriver Salons” at their home on Riverside Drive. We also spent many hours in conversation about theology, neuroscience, art, life, love, and the ultimate moral question: What should we do?
One answer Don often gave to the question of what we should do was to say that “we should be in conversation with one other”. He would then quote his close friend, Desmond Tutu, who often spoke of the Nguni Bantu (Zulu) concept of “Ubuntu” – “I am because of you.” This concept centers our humanity in community and in our relationships with one another. Don lived for such relationships – with Peggy, friends, colleagues, and students – and for the deep conversations within those relationships.
When asked questions such as – Can God forgive this or that? Or What about that person or this belief? – Don’s response was consistent. “I assume that God doesn’t need our help in figuring that out. And we have more pressing things to do.”
Don was not shy about asking hard questions, about talking of his experiences, or about giving advice. In speaking self-effacingly of his success as a leader, he credited two things. First, his partnership with Peggy, his constant partner, who was thoughtful, insightful, and wise. The accuracy of that credit was confirmed upon his retirement from the Presidency of Union when Don and Peggy were presented with the Union Medal, the Seminary’s highest honor, together.
The second factor, he emphasized, was an “ability to absorb enormous amounts of hostility.”
“After you emerge from denial, you must deal with a tremendous amount of anger before getting to a place of constructive engagement.”
Donald Shriver
He understood that he was a change agent, a necessary role if the viability of Union Theological Seminary was to be preserved. And, as he explained, “after you emerge from denial, you must deal with a tremendous amount of anger before getting to a place of constructive engagement.”
During a period of considerable upheaval at the Seminary, Don was able to listen respectfully and sincerely to many angry, powerful people without engaging in destructive battles, in the process winning not only support but respect. The result was an institution that became not only viable, but thriving and influential in new, creative, and important ways.
An inspirational legacy
In 2018, Don challenged me, saying it was time, after much talk, to make Good Wolf real. And that’s just what we did.
And in 2020, Don’s contributions were honored in a Festschrift titled Christian Ethics in Conversation, edited by Sharp and Iosso (Wipf and Stock). In this volume, over twenty colleagues, faculty, and students – many who themselves have become recognized intellectual and moral giants—celebrated Don’s leadership and role as a teacher and mentor. Most credited Don with a significant role in inspiring them and making their careers and contributions possible.
We miss Don. We miss Peggy. We honor their committed, impactful, and generous lives, and remember them and their friendship with deep gratitude.
In his Inaugural Address as President of Union Theological Seminary, entitled “The Heart’s Love Uttered with the Mind’s Conviction” on February 11, 1976, Don stated: “everything that is a value to God gets nourished best in a community of people who demonstrate daily their value to each other.”
Don lived those words. And in so doing, many of us were blessed by what he demonstrated.
